When He Becomes Emotionally Unavailable

Hi guys, you might want to look up this LINK before reading the writ below.
This is more like a rejoinder

Okay, so here goes.....


Most guys are used to love bombing or gas-lighting, as the case may be.
Please read more about GASLIGHTING HERE and LOVEBOMBING HERE

As ladies, we sometimes wonder where we got it wrong, if it's a crime to show emotions and love passionately, because we find somewhere down the relationship that our loving overtures and care is met with outright resistance. This continues for a while until we are finally able to write the guy off. Sometimes, when they come back, it's either too late or never as it used to be.
We move on to another person, and it's like a cycle.

For starters, we ladies must realize that we cannot keep doing things the same way and expect different results.
The reason why the guys who employ this sick method are able to get to us is because we look up to things that are without for validation. For example, we can only love ourselves and see ourselves as beautiful if that guy (who more oft than not is emotionally unavailable) sees us as such.
It is sad that we have attached our worthiness as humans to things that are without (e.g., people's affirmations, our cars, money, jobs e.t.c).
Smh.
 

Until they start looking inwards, within....for joy, peace, love, whole self acceptance and what have you...ladies aren't going to be redeemed anytime soon.
You will know that you are making progress when someone calls you Ugly or Fat or a Failure, and you look at them and smile....why? Because you have become connected to the reality that however you are, your curves, your contours, your smoothness, your sleekness, your edges, even the so-called imperfections are the same things that make you so amazingly beautiful and wonderful.
Let me ask this question:- How many of us can really believe this about ourselves?
Even if we can, we would rather allow society be our yardstick of acceptance, both of self and others.

And just so you know sis, I haven't arrived either, I am not perfect. But then, I'm determined to leave this world better than I met it, and that entails working on becoming a better me....

My dear sister, learn to be your own best friend, your own motivator. Learn how to be mentally strong enough to let go of emotionally abusive people and relationships. Do not let them and the negative energy they exude be the defining factor of your life.
Stop acting out of desperation. Do not become an "anything goes" lady.
Show yourself some dignity! Stop feeling like the guy is doing you a favor by dating or marrying you.
You are as much a blessing to him as he is to you:-* You are not valueless my dear, please rise above your mind.
Be confident enough that whatever you desire for yourself, you can have.
Dis-identify from the negative tendencies of your mind.
Your true nature as a woman is one that every celestial being envies.
Die daily to your ego. Allow your true being, your true consciousness grow more and more within you.
You are enough. You are worthy. You are complete. You are whole.
^^How willing you are to believe this about yourself is a direct determinant of the proportion of changes you will see in your life.

Sometimes, it's okay to be selfish. A love you have not given to yourself, you cannot give to others, and cannot receive from others either.

A word is enough for the wise.