Sometimes, I Think Marriage Is So Overrated

I penned this before my blogging days. Folks kept liking and sharing it, so I had to re-read. I am re-inspired. Hope you'll be too.

My hands feel somewhat weighty now that I've decided to put my thoughts to screen.

More oft we ladies (and guys) too only prepare and look forward to our wedding ceremonies.
Except those who are lucky to go through series of marriage counselling, one is never quite sure what to expect in that new phase of life called MARRIAGE and consequently, MOTHERHOOD.



I was in the hospital today and I saw women lying helplessly, with their wrappers faintly covering them up, those in the CSection looked worse............they couldn't pee (their we-we had to be attached to these bags) and they weren't allowed to bathe completely. Somehow, that pride of being a lady with all the finesse was gone, temporarily, I think...

I began soaking in how they cared for infants, how they weren't allowed to eat till they fart, some had gone 2-3 days with neither food nor water - eisshhhh.

Then my mind diverted to the men, my cousin's hubby and the other man.
At the sight of her hubby, my cuz glowed............

Then my mind delved deeper...........  
Into random thoughts and questions:-

Just recently, (in real life) not without learning some invaluable life lessons albeit, I let go of a relationship I thought was emotionally abusive, I felt I deserved better, and someone who clearly had my interests at heart. 
In this day and age where being married is like a golden title of sorts, if you've never been there, you will never understand what it means to let go of a guy who looks "eligible" 

I wondered,
What if I were in my cousin's shoes, would I glow that way? 
Or would I silently cuss him in my mind for making me go thru all that shiiiii?
Would I see him as - "worth the stress"?
Would he be there for me?
Would I be happy with him like she clearly was?
Would he pet me, hold me, kiss me, whisper sweet nothings in my ear?
Would he hold my hands?.......

What if I chose to manage that relationship just so I could join the so-called "elite few"?
What if I chose to bear it all, feeling all bound and caged, like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, just to be "married"?
What if I remained in it out of fear, of the unknown, of others' expectation?

God Forbid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thoughts I've put to screen above are not peculiar to me.
Many ladies go through such, much worse even, and it becomes really bad when they have no one to talk to nor a platform like this one, where they can talk about it, without fear of being stigmatized - fearing what everyone else would think of them.

Marriage is not child's play.
Marriage is different from wedding/honeymoon.
Marry your friend.
Marry that person whom you can bare all before.
Work on yourself.
Work at becoming a better person.
Work at becoming someone YOU can love.
Always pray for wisdom for the moment.
See yourself as the person of inestimable value and worth that you are.
Steer clear of sex - if you can (it'll help preserve your sanity in the relationship).
Its never too late to do the right thing.

Love Yourself
Love God
Love your family.
Be nice to everyone.
Be nice to guys (but know thyself)
Be nice to ladies (but apply wisdom)
Be nice to animals too! (roaches n rats).

Just Be!
Be.

Like me, you can pray in these lines too - 

Dear Lord:
For the things I do not see, show me.
For the things I do not know, teach me.
For the life you've prepared for me, prepare me.

You have no idea how much I love to read your comments, are your thoughts in sync with mine? Or you have a different view? Let's hear from you!

Also...
Here's hoping that things get a lot easier and better for us even as #NaijaDecides
Your Vote, Your Power.